Who am I? Find it out and then push the limits!

Whichever way round we look at things it always adds up to the question of whether or not we are happy. Some of us lead a stressful life and are happy others lead a very calm one and feel the same. Only if we feel thrown into the wrong lifestyle we become unhappy.

I just wrote the above down as I felt the thoughts whizzing through my head, and now that I’m looking a bit more closely at my choice of words I see the problem and the solution right in there.

The first phrase says ‘lead a life’: That radiates the impression of control. If you have a stressful or calm life by choice, then it is ok and you will be happy – well, or at least content.

The second one uses words like ‘thrown into’. That doesn’t sound like ‘being in control’, does it? Whenever we make a choice we usually mull over things a lot, being scared to get it wrong and hoping that somebody else might take the choices for us. That bears the advantage of being able to blame it on others but deprives us of much needed control.

However, more often than not it’s not real choices that mess things up. We slide into a lifestyle by responding to needs that just pop up. All the nitty-gritty bits which need been doing, we don’t really chose for or against them – They find US all too easily and one thing leads to another.

So! What’s the solution?

I have been pondering about these issues since a while now and whenever I encountered something that was bothering me I sat down and wrote an article about what I felt went wrong and what could been done about it – and I tried to live it. Well, sometimes the old patterns came back, but some things are working well.

Recently I did a lot of networking and thus met a lot of people, and it turned out that almost everybody had similar issues going on in their lives. Some look at the ‘How to be happy’ thing from a ‘health angle’ wanting to soothe the PMS or the back pains and headaches, for others it’s a matter of looking better addressing fashion, sport, slimming. Well, then there are the fellow women not having time at all and the others who don’t have the money – and of course any combinations of the above.

I thought: Well, I have already written a lot about this so it might be about time now to face my life in retrospect and see if I captured the important things. Did I find out who I am, and did it help to push my boundaries? In a nutshell:

Is the advice I have given myself with help of these articles of any value?

I definitely still consider Making Time the most important of all. Without time to do things properly nothing goes. Whenever I feel 'thrown into life' it is because everything is done only superficially. It looks good from the outside, but I KNOW that when scratched it my cover-up will fall apart. So allocating tasks to time slots, reviewing regurlarly and amend is an essential and worked very much in my favour.

The next important thing is to figure out what we actually want. How often have you chosen the same thing in a restaurant, because you weren't sure what you actually wanted - so the safe choice it is: Again!

To dare dreaming the dream and them make it life. Once the calendar is organised there are no more excuses to go for it. Thus taking the old life apart and bringing a new one together: Yes, that pretty much worked for me. I'm not all there yet, but I'm happy to be on the road. And I still love my lists. Whenever scatterbrain mode kicks in I find a moment to stop to reflect a bit.

And yes: It all is a bit boring and creates a certain routine. However that is exactly what gives the freedom to use the rest of the time for things I really want to do - and to do so without regret.

Unfortunately I'm not superwoman! Whenever I just got round to freeing up time and decided on what route to pursue, it rather often feels like hitting the brick wall again.

Well, that will be worthwhile another article. Once we grow a bit we quickly fill the space and the more we grow the more we see what else is possible.

That is the moment to stay positive! We may need a shoulder of a friend once in a while to rant or cry a bit ... and then we take a deep breath and go into the next round and make a list! As long as we have the passion for what we are doing we can push the boundaries further and further. You might be astonished from which corners help and support will arrive when you allow for it.

And now we are coming full circle: We have to allow for things to happen. We all need control, but we can't control every single bit. Pushing the limits is only possible if we allow ourselves to be challenged and if we allow people to help if we need it. We have to allow ourselves to be voulnerable.

Weirdly enough I found that I get hurt less when I allow it to happen. I sometimes feel like a stuntwoman. These people can fall down the stairs without being hurt because they losen up. While our bodies would be bouncing down, theirs float. Whenever I desperately try hard, I get tense and lose my creativity, as soon as I let go all of a sudden things are falling into place.

And this really is the greatest of my insights. All the 'time management', 'networking efforts' and 'goal finding' boils down to the one thing:

To know when to let lose and to just let the ball roll!

There is no point in wasting energy in worrying. Worry is a wall that keeps trust out. Trust that you prepared as best as you could, trust in people and trust in coincidence.

Trust me! I know what I'm talking about.

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Author: Rika