How Sexy are Your Five a Day?

Just take the fact that we have a huge campaign going on, advertising that we have to have five portions of fruit and veg a day. This somewhat indicates that we are not particularly keen on them – otherwise we wouldn’t need the advice, would we?

I had a friend at school insisting that she doesn’t like vegetables. Duh?

Take sweet corn, spinach, and Brussels sprouts. They are different in colour, texture and flavour – so how can one generalise and refuse them all?

If someone would claim not to like sweets, I would think that this is a very odd person, but – fair enough - does not like to have the sweet buds triggered. However, sweet corn is small and sweet, spinach – well, it’s spinach, and sprouts are big and bitter-ish. They shouldn’t even be in one class of things.

Now I got a completely new approach towards veg. I had posted in a blog that I hate celery sticks because it is ‘the unsexiest vegetable there ever was’.

The response I found rather astonishing. The sender never considered the sexiness of vegetables and was wondering if I probably were a bit of a weird person. To his defence it has to be said that he contemplated the same thought about himself, and he might be right there – about me being a weird person, that is! But that surely is for other reasons, the vegetable issue is an entirely legitimate one!

On investigating further and discussing the matter here and there, I was told: No, no! You mean ‘sensual’! Well, you may call it whatever you want, but for me sensual comes from senses – touch, smell, sight, … - and usually is used to describe something lustful, voluptuous,…

Much too complicated: I mean just plain ‘sexy’ – meaning whether or not something turns you on. You see a hot pair of shoes; they are not sensual, they are sexy! They look good for themselves and they will make us look good as well.

Fruit are classed sexy and unsexy since forever – see the bible; well, they call it forbidden, but again, who wants to fight over semantics at this point? As a matter of fact most of the fruit are considered sexy – just think of strawberries with cream, cherries and currants – nice colours, shiny surface. And we definitely look good eating them. Well, one might call kiwi sensual, they are fluffy and soft to the touch, but they are definitely not sexy – well, perhaps when sliced open, but eating them is a mess. No, kiwi - not sexy!

Hmmm… seems that sexiness cuts down the number of senses to ‘one’ – sight!

It’s the colours and the shapes that trigger our imagination. So why should we deny the veggies this honour? They might not be as shiny – usually, or juicy – usually, but there must be something about them that makes them sexy?

So, a strawberry is sexy straight away, as is a cherry, but not a carrot; it’s not as red, not as shiny – none of the veg are shiny. They are always the bit dirty, scruffy siblings. So, sexiness may lie in the amount of preparation needed to make them look good.

Take said celery stick:  It is highly associated with diet, the most humongous anti-fun imaginable. It has this weird, bent shape with a bit of a green fuss that is the leftovers of a leaf at the end of it which sometimes is chopped off, what makes it look somewhat castrated. It is fibery yet bendy, and thus it’s impossible to bite off a bit without looking silly. If sliced for stir fry it makes rather nice shapes but loses the nice green colour instantly and turns grey. The poor thing will never be sexy.

Fennel on the other hand is very sexy straight away. It has a similar flavour to the celery, but is a bit more subtle – although I don’t particularly like it since I had a bad encounter, which admittedly had more to do with the bottle of wine that came with it. It has a nice round shape that fits nicely into the palm, is layered in an interesting pattern and has a beautiful contrast of white flesh and bright green, fluffy hairdo. And it keeps its looks when prepared, whether it is just steamed, or glazed in some sauce which may contain some wine which then has to be finished off with the meal…

I personally find everything round and bouncy utterly attractive, like sweet corn and peas. They come with lovely colours and keep it when heated, and with a knob of butter they develop a beautiful glow. Sprinkled with a bit of parsley or small, very briefly steamed broccoli flowers for a touch of contrasting dark green they are just a beautiful.

Well, this may not be the most suitable of ways to sell veggies to our kids, but hubby might be delighted about the new approach!

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Author: Rika